It begins... Alpha Blue Session Report

Last night we had our first session in our new Alpha Blue Campaign. This will be the first of 7 / 8 weekly session reports following the game. I knew we were off to a good start when the first 5 minutes centred around whether Necrophilia counted if the body was still warm and if you had your penis replaced with an elephant trunk would it try putting peanuts up your arse? It's going to be hard to do it justice but here goes...

The Players

Brother Ezekiel (played by Scott) is a lucky god fearing fellow with a fetish for robots and a belief that he needs to bring the good word to the people of the universe! He is also the proud owner of a currently OP God gun (of his own design, not Alpha Blue approved), you'll see why it's over powered...

Kanan (played by Dom) is a Con Man with a thing for cougars, who pilots 'The Cyclops Snake' (blue flamingo class ship). He is a wanted man with a full scale manhunt for him.

Dash Calypso (played by Tom) is a mutant, entirely oblivious of his condition, with some mysterious mutations I cannot yet go into and even the player isn't aware of them all. He's really into exhibitionism!

Sister Mary (played by Ven) is a slutty tiger nun alien with a boob window in her habit. She is extremely well armed for a woman of the cloth and preaches safe sex, handing out condoms (both regular and mind condoms). There's something hinky about her DNA though...

Astra (played by Rachael) is the ship's medic, a xenologist into sub / dom relationships. She wears a pink leather outfit similar to a mankini and a white lab coat. She has her own lab on the ship and a pair of furry handcuffs being put to great use so far!

Arden (played by Matt) is a lucky gambler that is embracing his skills putting them to use gathering intelligence.

Vena Astra (played by Kat) is a plant based alien, super turned on by Popsicles who unfortunately due to her alien DNA (and not because Kat is away at the minute) was unconscious for the entire session.

House Rules

When creating characters (individually prior to the game) I discussed with each if there were any trigger topics that might make them uncomfortable and should be avoided. Due to the nature of Alpha Blue I wanted to be sure it was a safe and fun environment for all. Topics that were out included:
-Rape (unanimously, this undoubtedly puts people off Alpha Blue)
-Racism
-Paedophilia
-Genital Mutilation
-Religious Extremism
In our game, the entire population of the galaxy is so disturbed by these things that you will undoubtedly be mobbed and air locked very quickly. No amount of D6's can save you from a mob the size of Alpha Blue's populous.

The next difference in how I run it is that the interstellar caliphate was changed to the interstellar wall. The interstellar wall is a group of terrorists who plan on making the universe great again through illegal acts of terror. Fuelled by hate and fear the members of this group are blind to the fact that their leader Aldo Thump (referred to as The Don) is actually using them all for his personal agenda: his profit margin.

The opening of the game involves the players waking up with amnesia so I took away one of the career roles from them (except where they had strong ideas or it just worked with my plans) to surprise them with later and gave them a lot more flexibility on their characters, so a lot of the characters detail are picked by player rather than rolled on a table.

I also have a rule (which has not yet come up) which is to avoid spending hours roleplaying sex to beef up hp prior to a big battle. If you want to have sex more than 3 times a session, you have to role to see if you can still get aroused. The first role will be at advantage, second at normal and third (plus any thereafter) at disadvantage. Blue dreamers add 1 d6 to the dice pool.

The Game

Players awoke in the Med Bay on Alpha Blue with Amnesia. Dash was behaving oddly as though he were sleepwalking perhaps but it never really got explained. The group were filled in by a hot nurse as to what had happened; an orgasmatron malfunction resulted in them all losing their memories. They had Alpha Blue Ident Cards which had their name, room number and date of arrival on as well as a picture (these were actual props to help players identify each other) and were told that they formed the crew of the Cyclops Snake.

The players decided to investigate their rooms and Brother Ezekiel was disturbed to find his room had been unlocked, allowing a couple of horny passers by to use it for some sexy fun time! All the players found a little something in their room which included furry hand cuffs for Astra, Rope for Kanan and a contract for Ezekiel. The contract was signed that day and had him newly employed as ships hand to the Cyclops Snake. This caused quite the disturbance and as he tried to get away Astra decided to handcuff him to Dash. A contested role led to Dash being handcuffed to Astra instead. Just then Officer Eric Shun showed up to take them in for questioning regarding the orgasmatron. It turned out that the combination of laser fire inside the machine, the presence of indigo haze and some glitches in the system causing high levels of radiation had caused the amnesia. Players had no knowledge of this but did present the contract, which had been witnessed by Skye Candy. Skye Candy it turned out was a missing satisfier, presumed dead as another victim of 'The Unsatisfied Killer' currently killing off sex workers.

Sadly the interview was interrupted by flashing lights and alarms followed by Officer Shun and all the other police frantically scrambling out. The crew decided to leave but became split when Ezekiel and Kanan went toward the screaming, growling and laser fire sounds, Arden decided to poke around the filing system, Sister Mary went to retrieve the contract and Dash & Astra went off to have steamy shower sex!

Kanan quickly decided it was best to leave Brother Ezekiel to his fate and went to find Sister Mary. They then preceded to have sex on top of the police photocopier, safe sex of course!

Meanwhile Arden was finding info on the unsatisfied killer and found a wanted poster for a familiar looking man he couldn't quite place.

Brother Ezekiel was left face to face with a brain bug somehow out of containment and decimating the unprepared, barely dressed security forces. He was nervous but fired his god gun into combat, set to epiphany. Unfortunately a crit fail resulted in Officer Shun having the epiphany causing him to be devoured by the brain bug. Ezekiel shot again this time on rapture and a crit success resulted in the heavens parting and the brain bug being carried (still alive) on the wings of angels toward a bright light... heaven is in for a shock!

Arden then arrived and noted the door had been opened somehow, CCTV wiped and JCN the computer (with the face of Jason Statham) informed him it was more glitches. He also managed to loot 2 security access crystals.

Ezekiel felt an overwhelming urge to pray but a well meaning medic misunderstood and directed him to the blue light district where he fainted due to the shock of a sinning cleric and a sexbot who seemed to know him all too well!

Astra and Dash decided to check out their ship where they ran into Jeeves the butler bot who offered them refreshments and informed them of how ships policy was to delete all records so as to avoid being caught. Criminals don't keep ships logs apparently. He also mentioned them visiting with their pink haired friend (Skye Candy) yesterday. Dash found a photo of sister Mary with a young gangster looking man.

Sister Mary and Kanan by now had an audience of cops enjoying the sex show and the photocopied close ups but eventually also decided to go to the ship.

Ezekiel decided he would need to set up his own chapel and went to rent mall space but found the proprietor, Starbuck, was the same woman from his room earlier. She agreed to rent him the space and had him sign contracts while pressing against him naked. Poor man would have signed anything trying to ignore her!

Arden went off to the casino to investigate the interstellar wall but only found a useless drunken idiot. He then went gambling...

TO BE CONTINUED....

Coming Soon to a Blog near you... Alpha Blue

Hello Sweetie's!

So I had planned to run Alpha Blue as a one shot at my local RPG club during the short block. However I somehow got talked in to running it as a long block 8 week campaign. I put my pitch together, which felt less like a pitch and more of a 'warning: contains adult themes and sexual content'. I had asked for 4 - 6 players but when the votes were all in, I ended up with 7 players so it certainly garnered some attention. This is my first campaign as a GM at the club, so I'm a tad nervous, but mostly excited!

My bedroom wall is now plastered in post it notes (which according to some, form a giant penis shape... appropriately) filled with storyline ideas & plans. I have wrote some of my own stuff but also chose to use some of the ideas in the book so hopefully my session reports will cover all bases in terms of review.

I am also hard at work making props (I blame the good friends of Jackson Elias and their recent wonderful podcast!). So far I have a series of ads and notifications to show in the background in a slideshow as though they are on a viewing screen on alpha blue. These may or may not have clues.... Some of my readers are in the game so I can't give away too much.

While writing and making for Alpha Blue I have been listening to a lot of Richard Cheese who seems to me to be the perfect live act for the Blue Velvet Lounge. Odds are good my players will be audibly assaulted by Richard Cheese in the game at some point!

Some of you may know I have made a couple of tables which are going on Venger Satanis' new kickstarter project Girls Gone Rogue. The GGR tables will also likely feature in my game, possibly Oli Palmer's GGR contribution too if he says yes... when I ask... Very exciting stuff!

So to summarise, I am looking forward to running this! Session reports will start mid-march :)

Vix x

Alpha Blue Review

Hello All!

I've been reading Venger Satanis' new RPG Alpha Blue over the last week, and I have to say, I really like it! It is a Sci-Fi game set in the future on a space station named Alpha Blue which is essentially one big party station; big on sex and prostitution as well as drink, drugs and crime. Sounds like a lot of fun right? The book is nicely produced and features some fantastic art work, some of which is a little naughty, so best to keep it away from any curious minors! I have not yet played it but I am inspired, so I hope to run it at the club soon. The following are my initial thoughts and impressions of Alpha Blue.

The book does a really good job of setting the scene which is sort of vintage sci-fi, completely gonzo with a whole lot of sex. The system is pretty simple to get your head round so I don't imagine the mechanics detracting from the story at all (it's a revised version of the Crimson Dragon Slayer system), if anything it gives players the opportunity to further develop their characters by expanding on their backgrounds (which in turn increases their dice pool). One thing I have not seen used before in terms of mechanics is the advantages of having sex, particularly kinky sex! In the game, sex (the kinkier the better) can boost your HP temporarily. So in other words, bang your way through the space station and you'll be able to take more of a beating than Rocky! This is going to be very interesting in play but I suspect will give a distinct advantage to the players most comfortable with their sexuality whereas the more reserved types may not be comfortable enough at first to really reap the benefits.

It's not just about sex though. There are several space age drugs in the game that have their effects described and you may find yourself using. Add to that the various entertainment venue's to while away an evening as well as the humanoid, robotic and alien characters wandering around and you have a lot to explore. Built into the game are ideas such as corporate espionage, crime syndicates, pirates, assassins, monsters, aliens, laser fights and death matches. There is much more to Alpha Blue then just a space brothel!

Character wise there are lots of interesting options. You can of course play a human, or an alien of some kind but you could also be a Zedi (attention Star Wars fans) or you could be Psionic which basically means cool psychic powers and even teleportation. You can also play a Noble which is aristocratic or be just plain Lucky! In addition to those you can roll to see if you have any mutations, some of which are awesome and would be great to have (some not so great to have), plus you roll to see what career you have. This looks like it will lead to some totally customised or random characters and should certainly keep things interesting. The mutations table is so much fun I'm going to have to try hard not to throw radiation at players constantly just to bring in more mutations!

There really is an abundance of awesome tables in the book so you can roll to choose a star sign (personality type), roll for prior sexual experiences, money, fetishes, what turns you on, your known associates, your clothing and much more. There is so much in here that if you are looking for a quick one-shot you may want to pick and choose what you use or just pre-gen all the players characters but if your group likes leaving it all up to chance but having really in depth characters then that is catered for. There are also lots of table's you can use throughout the game. Just burst into a room? Find out what kinky sex was going on by rolling dice. Investigating a weird asteroid? No worries, roll the dice and see what you find. It could potentially make things very easy on the 'Space Dungeon Master' (Alpha blue term) so long as you are comfortable rolling with the punches.

In addition to all the tables there is oodles of information on various factions and groups within the galaxy as well as all the places you might want to utilise inside Alpha Blue (which is basically a flying city). None of it feels overdone or repetitive, it just creates a very rich fabric so it is easy to let your imagination run away with you and come up with interesting plots and twists. But just in case it doesn't there are various scenario seeds suggested in the book to get you started.

There are a few things in the book however that I would personally not want to include in my game as they have too much potential to make people uncomfortable. As it is I think I should probably preface the game with a trigger warning or two and an over 18's only rule not to mention rules at the beginning as to what I am expecting of my players. Primarily that sexual partners must be consensual and over the age of consent - this of course means that I'll never include the contentious "Rape Machine", I find this too delicate a subject area to include in a game thats supposed to be enjoyable.

I am really excited to play this game. I love Sci-Fi as a genre and I really enjoy this gonzo silly fun style of play that lets me unleash my inner pun-loving cheesy-movie enthusiast with a flare for the dramatic and over the top action scenes. I can see anyone who like me has watched all the Stargates, Battlestar Galacticas, Star Treks, Fireflies and Star Wars (*stops listing as I'm getting carried away*) with enthusiasm will find lots of things they love about Alpha Blue. As long as it is played in the right way there is a lot of potential for some of the funniest, most epic roleplaying to come out! That said, if you are prudish about sex or offended by some of the nastier elements of the game to the point where you cannot ignore it, then this is probably not the game for you.

I will post again once I have played it to say how this works in practice and whether or not it lives up to my expectations. Hopefully you have enjoyed this review.

X

Recently made crochet dice bags

I recently made these dice bags as Christmas presents for a couple of my roleplaying friends and since it is no longer a secret I can post them here.
The first is Buttons the bear, inspired by 'Lamentations of the gingerbread princess' which Oli Palmer ran for our rpg group and did a superb job! Absolutely love the voice he does for Buttons :)
The second is Cthulu inspired with eyes and tentacles for Kathryn Jenkins in honour of her recent Cthulu dark scenario work which I look forward to playing!
Hope you like the dice bags my lovelies!
X

The Trees are Alive...

Hello again!

On account of me not having posted for a while prior to tonight (things have been a little hectic what with Christmas, work and family commitments) I figured I'd offer up another little encounter you may enjoy throwing at your players. This was designed for use in a Lamentations of the Flame Princess game however this could be tweaked easily I'm sure to fit in any other system.

Night has fallen and there is a sinister chill in the air. Your adventuring has taken you through the woods and you worry it may be treacherous to go on as the darkness creeps in around you. The moonlight gives you just enough light to see the skeletal branches of trees clawing at the sky with a few dead leaves still clinging to them like rotting flesh to a corpse.

You decide to make camp for the night in a small clearing where you can bed down and a few evergreen trees may provide you some shelter. As you start to fall asleep you see the fog begin to roll in... not unusual for this time of year. You settle down for the night but your eyes widen at a nearby rustle and they search the surrounding area. You see nothing but the trees and the fog which begins to creep over you.

A pang of panic grips your chest as you realise you are unable to move, unable to make a sound even. You notice from the corner of your eye a tree, slithering along on its roots toward you slowly. It seems to bend down toward you as a long spindly branch moves to your mouth, prying apart your lips and forcing itself into your mouth. The rough bark splinters at your throat as you choke on it, or at least it feels as though you would. You feel a hot burning sensation from deep down your throat and the branch is removed. You can breathe once more. The tree slithers away while you are left, throat raw, still unable to move, scream, cry out or even comprehend what has just happened to you. After all, tree's don't move...

 

If asleep in the woods at night time on a full moon the tree spirits will attempt to attack you. On the 3 nights of the full moon they come alive and emit a paralysing dense mist at will. Once they have some helpless victims, they will force tree limbs down their throats as they lay helpless and plant within their victims a seed of their own. The paralysing effect wears off after a few hours but the following then occurs if you have a seed inside you:

Day 1: skin begins to toughen much like bark. Permanently lose 2 from Dex but gain 2 to AC.

Day 2: skin begins to harden further and movement is now extremely difficult and much slower. Perm lose a further 3 from Dex but gain 3 to AC.

Day 3: features begin to harden over as well as you more closely resemble a tree. You are now unable to speak as your mouth is covered over in tough bark (though breathing is not a problem) and roots sprout from what used to be your feet securing you to the ground. You may still move your arms (branches) slowly but your lower body is that of a tree.

Day 4: You are a TREE. Dead for all intents and purposes but you will rise again on the next full moon and be compelled to procreate as a tree spirit yourself.

The only cure for this is to drink the sap of one of these tree spirits which will make you vomit and take the seedling with it. Any transformation up to this point remains but you will not transform further. This cannot be cured by dispel magic or any other means.

X

Little Red and Wolfgang Van De Berg

Hello my dears,

The following is a little side action you may want to chuck in as a random encounter for your gaming pleasure. As you can probably tell from reading it, I like fairy tales and this is inspired by one of my favourites... Hope it's of use to you.

Little Red and Wolfgang Van De Berg

Little Red (Birth name Scarlet Van De Berg) and Wolfgang Van De Berg are non identical twins approx 9 years old. Their Father viciously stabbed their Mother to death for adultery then cut his own neck. The toddler twins hid under a bed watching the bloodshed and were alone with their dead parents for nearly 2 days until their Grandmother found the bodies and took the children in. Being destitute they lived in a cave in the woods, setting traps to catch rabbits etc for food. The children took on the job of skinning and cooking the animals. They were shunned by the other villagers who said the children were unnatural, perverted by their parent’s madness and bathed in blood. When the children were 8 the Grandmother caught Pneumonia and died. The children ate her as they were perpetually hungry and would not let meat go to waste. The children then lived alone and sometime later when they came across a man who had been attacked and killed by a wolf; they ate what was left of him too. The children developed a taste for human flesh and set their tracking and trapping skills to hunting the best game of all, man. They usually stay close to home picking off travellers and the like who get lost in the woods, sometimes using their innocence to lure people into traps claiming they need help as their Grandmother is sick and dying. They are skilled at making traps, good with a blade and sewing.

When they encounter potential prey alone they will try to lure them into a trap or kill them when their backs are turned. When they encounter groups they will if possible try to separate them and trap them individually for an easier kill.

The woods near the caves where they live are interspersed with various traps such as tripwires with projectile stakes, pits with spikes covered by forest debris such as leaves and sticks, nets that will scoop you up if you step in them and suspend you from the trees, etc.

In the caves themselves they have a very thin wire from one side of the passage to the other at approximately adult neck height so they can run right under it when leading people to grandmother and the adults will run into it, slicing their necks.

 

The caves are sparsely decorated but contain various tools and weaponry as well as the personal effects of people they have killed, the odd wolf skin and a book named 'Grimm Fairy Tales'.

 

Special item:  Grandmother's Basket of Plenty

This item can be found in the caves. The basket of plenty each day mysteriously refills itself containing 4 small cakes. However one of the cakes each day is cursed. When eating the cursed cake, each bite you take of the cake transfers the bite to yourself and the cake turns into your own flesh in your mouth. Each bite taken deals 1HP damage and leaves you with chunks of flesh missing. If you eat this cake you develop a taste for human flesh and may require a willpower check when opportunity to eat human flesh without being caught arises. All other food now tastes bland to you. The other cakes are harmless, taste good and will satisfy your appetite (for a time).

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good roleplay night!

X

Super Mario Dice Bag

This is a dice bag I crocheted a little while ago. It is designed to look like the Super Mario style Bob-ombs. If you fancy making one for yourself you will need black, grey, white and yellow wool, a crochet hook and some grey ribbon.

I generally don't use patterns, nor do I usually make notes so what follows is not so much a pattern as a guide.

I start by making a magic circle and crocheting 8 single crochets into the circle joining with a slip stitch. I then chain 2 and double crochet twice into each stitch again joining at the end with a slip stitch. On the next row alternate 2 double crochets in one stitch then one double crochet in the next.

 For each subsequent row alter the ratio by reducing the frequency of 2 double crochets until the bag is the desired width. This is basically made the same way you might make a beanie hat for a baby so you may want to follow a pattern for a beanie using black wool. 

Once the width is correct, make 1 double crochet per chain all the way round and repeat till you have the desired height. Finish with two rows in grey. Then thread a ribbon through to use as a drawstring in the first grey row.

The eyes are each made by forming a chain the desired length of the eyes and single crocheting all the way around it with an extra single crochet in each corner. Once these are complete sew them in place. 

The feet are made in yellow wool using the same method as the first two rounds of the bag. Sew these on, weave in all your ends and voila! You have a dice bag :)

Hopefully that is of use to you. I have also made a pokeball version which I will upload at some point. There will be more dice bags to follow after Christmas as I am currently making some as presents and don't want to ruin the surprise!

X